Chrimbo and all that Jazz

Festive Greetings to both our readers from the funky Fes Medina.

Well its not all fun and sunshine here albeit I would hazard a guess that its warmer than old Blighty right now. All around the Medina propane sales are blossoming as we wheel out our trusty heaters for a few months at least and I for one permanently don my chunky Chefchaoen knitwear, very fetching. Along with my woolly hat I have been told I resemble a Moroccan nut seller, which has done wonders for my credibility, I dont think.

Just recovering from my personal Eid experience where I was confronted in the basement a few days ago with a face to face encounter with a 40 kilo bundle of lambchops called Dolly. Ben had made her very comfortable with a bed of straw, some canapes and a glass of chilled reisling and she reclined thinking I am sure all her Xmas'ssss had come at once. The fact that she wouldnt even see this one out had not entered her tiny brain, so I thought, you can wipe that sheepish smirk offyerface as soon as you like. The next day a Moroccan Sweeny Todd had dispatched Dolly to that great green pasture in the sky soon after the call to prayer.

The Medina was smelling of sweetsmoke charcoal, charred horns and heads and everyone slinging their personally branded sheepskin still bloodied and muddied onto piles on each street corner to be collected for a tannery rejuvination. It was incredibly organised and the threatened rivers of blood scenario I had envisaged did not occur as people seemed meticulous in keeping their personal doorstep clean. Ben then very swiftly prepared Dolly for a tagine party that night in two shakes of a lambs tail ho ho and again HO!

So know its getting near the time for our Occidental celebration HA! I remember last year on Boxing Day I was shopping for 5 toilets, 2 baths, 4 sets of taps and 5 GOOOOLD RINGS , 4 Blah de blahs, 3 sitting ducks, 2 French Tarts and a Partridge in a Pear tree. Now getting that lot back into the Medina in a fleet of Carrosas (trolleys for the uninitiated) caused a few stares and an unbelievable amount of scurrilous gossip so I wont be doing that again.

This year I have some West Indian friends coming over from Antigua although originally from Nigeria joined on 26th by some other Nigerian ladies so I will be having a traditional Nigerian Xmas whereby we all set off at the crack of dawn and lasso the nearest water buffalo, and spit roast it with cashew nuts, banana, plantain and Yorkshire pudding. This is traditionally followed by plum duff and Birds Eyes Custard which read literally seems an abomination, birds eyes and custard yuck, sounds like a Bushtucker Challenge. Then we will sit around the gas fire tell tall tales and chant long forgotten negro spirituals till way past 7pm.

More fun than shopping for toilets.....I hope!